Monday, September 6, 2010

Confusing English....

Now i know why i failed in english.
It's not my fault but the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going

There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple...
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people
recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.
How can 'slim chance and a fat chance' be the same, while ' wise man and a wise guy' are opposites?
Consider the following sentenses...
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
They were too close to the door to close it.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

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