Quotes - page11

-There are some stupid people in this world. You just helped me realize it.

-I'm cool, I'm hot....I'm everything you're not

-Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me

-Take my advice...I don't need it anyways

-I m not the King..But Hey the Crown Fits...!!!

-i speak many languages but english is t bestest

-Dont Drink And Drive...Smoke And Fly High.........

-A good man can be stupid and still be good. But a bad man must have brains

-They probably won't let me join the pessimist club.

-Don't worry about what other people think. They don't do it very often.

-That's enough of me talking about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think about me?

-There's a bug in my computer. I believe it's looking for a byte to eat.

-Here's a little bit of advice for you.. advi

-Free parachutes! No strings attached! Lifetime guarantee!

-The early bird gets the worm. The late worm gets to live.

-He who laughs last might just be in a different time zone.

-Life isn't fair. Especially when I'm involved.

-Bachelors know more about women than married men. That's why they're not married.

-80% of the boys hav grlfrnds.. 20% hav brains

-I didnt loose my mind... I sold it on ebay..

-When nothing goes right... go left.

Quotes - page10

-Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

-The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

-School is cool, except for the whole going to class thing.

-I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

-A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

-Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

-Why is it that it takes one careless match to start a forest fire but it takes the whole box to start a campfire.

-War doesnt determine who is right - only who is left.

-I used to think drinking was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.

-Why do people say life is short? What can you do longer than live?

-A fly just landed on my screen... I tried to right-click and delete it.

-Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

-I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

-A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

-Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

-Alcohol doesn't make you fat... it makes you Lean... on tables, chairs & random ugly people.

-I need six months holiday… twice a year.

-Dont forget that I forgot U..

-I can talk to dogs, but that doesn't mean that they listen.

Quotes - page9

-Courage is knowing what not to fear.

-If you are going through hell, keep going.

-The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

-What year did Jesus think it was?

-Those who think they know everything, are very annoying to those who do really Know..

-Some people are alive because it's illegal to kill them

-I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying

-If U notice this notice u will notice that the notice u have noticed is not worth noticing..

-Some people are so open minded dat thier brains often fall out.

-If U r cute.. I m Single

-Save trees... ban Xams..

-I wanted to kill world's most smart person , but suicide is a crime..

-Nobody is perfect. I am Nobody. Therefore I am perfect.

-I'm not here right now, but if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone... buy me a cell phone.

-I am right 90% of the time. So why worry about the other 3%?

-Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again.

-I'm cool, I'm hot....I'm everything you're not

-i speak many languages but english is t bestest

-A Good Girl Is Hard To Find But A Bad Gurl Is Hard To Resist!!!

-Take my advice...I don't need it anyways

Quotes - page8

-Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

-You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

-Learn from your parents' mistakes; use birth control.

-The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.

-Imay not love all the girls who loved me,but i respect their choice..

-Quitters never win, winners never quit. But who never quit and never win are idiots.

-Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes.

-Anyone who can only think of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.

-Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

-The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

-I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you

heard is not what I meant.

-When women go wrong, men go right after them.

-It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.

-I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

-As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not

refer to reality

-The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of

solving an existing one.

-I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and

stones.

-A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

-If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.

-Anything too stupid to be said is sung.

Quotes - page7

-You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

-If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

-Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

-Death is hereditary.

-An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

-Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

-Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

-If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

-Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

-I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

-I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

-Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.

-Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

-I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

-Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

-Never judge a book by its movie.

-Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

-Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

-When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.