-If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
-Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
-Death is hereditary.
-An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
-Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
-Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
-If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
-I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
-I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
-Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.
-Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
-I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
-Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
-Never judge a book by its movie.
-Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
-Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
-When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
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