-The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-School is cool, except for the whole going to class thing.
-I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
-A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.
-Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
-Why is it that it takes one careless match to start a forest fire but it takes the whole box to start a campfire.
-War doesnt determine who is right - only who is left.
-I used to think drinking was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.
-Why do people say life is short? What can you do longer than live?
-A fly just landed on my screen... I tried to right-click and delete it.
-Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
-I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
-A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
-Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
-Alcohol doesn't make you fat... it makes you Lean... on tables, chairs & random ugly people.
-I need six months holiday… twice a year.
-Dont forget that I forgot U..
-I can talk to dogs, but that doesn't mean that they listen.
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